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Once upon a time, the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of "a new world." So they organized a school.
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ROOM SERVICE Der
folgende Text ist ein Telefongespräch zwischen einem Hotelgast und dem
Zimmer-Service in einem Room
Service: “Morny, Ruin sorbes” Guest:
“Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service” Room
Service: “Rye ... Ruin sorbees... morny! Ddjewish to odor sunteen ?” Guest:
“Uh...yes... I´d like some bacon and eggs” Room
Service: “Ow July den ?” Guest:
“What ?” Room
Service: “Ow July den ? ... pry, boy, pooch?” Guest:
“Oh, the eggs! How do you like them ? Sorry, scrambled please.” Room
Service: “Ow July dee bayhcem ...crease?” Guest:
“Crisp will be fine.” Room
Service: “Hokay. An San tos ?” Guest:
“What ?” Room
Service: ”San tos. July San tos ?” Guest:
”I don´t think so” Room
Service: “No ? Judo one tos?” Guest:
”I feel really bad about this, but I don´t know what ´judo one
toes`means.” Room
Service: “Toes ! toes ! ... why djew Don Juan toes ? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother ?” Guest:
“English muffin ! I´ve got it ! You were saying ´Toast`. Fine” Room
Service: “We bother ?” Guest:
“No.... just put the bother on the side.” Room
Service: “Wad ?” Guest:
“I mean butter .... just put the butter on the side !” Room
Service: “Copy ?” Guest:
“Sorry ?” Room
Service: “Copy ... tea ... mill ?” Guest:
“Yes. Coffee please, and that´s all .” Room
Service: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,
tossy singlish we bother honey
sigh, and copy ... rye ?” Guest:
“Whatever you say” Room
Service: “Tendjewberrymud” Guest:
“You´re welcome” Quelle:
Leider unbekannt !
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Sind
Professoren eigentlich Menschen ...?
(Originalzitate
von Professoren) „Dass
Frauen keine Physik machen, liegt doch nicht daran, „...
und alles, was Vorteile hat, hat auch Nachteile. Wenn „Ihre
Argumente sind so schwammig wie Ihr Busen.“ „Meine
Herren, die Frauen sind in Jura sowieso immer besser Prof.
fragt etwas später eine weibliche Studentin. „Meine Studentin
zieht sich den Pullover während einer Matheaufgabe Student
und Prof stehen nebeneinander am Urinal. Prof.
an Bushaltestelle zu Student: „Hätte ich gewusst, dass „Der
Cosinus ist nicht das, was ihr Euch vorstellt: Zwei Prof.:
„Wie ist es denn mit der Harn-Samen-Röhre, ist die „Warum
kommen denn immer wieder Studenten zu spät zur Eine
Studentin im Hörsaal fragt den Prof.: „Warum brummt Prof.
„Was ist Agio?“ Student: „Weiß ich nicht.“ Prof.: „OK, „Dann
will ich das noch einmal ganz einfach erklären. Also Prof.:
„Welches Epithel haben wir in der Vagina?“ Student: „Natürlich
wollen alle Hochschulen nur die besten Studenten „Wir
haben kürzlich ein Feldexperiment gemacht.“ ... Ruhe Lehrer:
„Alkohol ist unter anderem auch ein gutes Lösungsmittel...“ Student
kommt zu spät zur Vorlesung. Der Prof. fragt „Ihnen
hat man wohl Helium ins Hirn geblasen, dass Sie „Ich
bin das Exmatrikulationsamt!“ (Prof. in Schaltungstechnik, „Sie
und ich, wir haben etwas gemeinsam: Wir alle befinden Prof.
bei einem professoraldidaktischen Anlauf: „Stellen Sie Mündliche
Nachprüfung als letzte Chance, das Examen zu |
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Physik für Kobolde
Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort:
Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Was macht man denn nun mit den Brillen der letzten Sonnenfinsternis? Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort: Frage: Antwort:
Noch Fragen?
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Aufgabenstellungen genau erfassen!
(ein erstaunliches Experiment - klappt immer!!!) |
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Dear Santa, I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd
like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any
color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in
the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the
candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine
somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If
you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with fingerprint
resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television
that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a
refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide
to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother", because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pak, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the In-law's house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight. Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet. Yours always.....Mom PS: One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
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